Mslexia

From the Mslexia Workshops Collection

January's Workshop: Cutting to the Chase

Devised by Valerie Laws

FLASH FICTION WRITING EXERCISE: PRUNING YOUR PROSE

If these were to be sentences from flash fiction, they’d need drastic cutting – or cutting right out. Have a go!
1. Why was it so hard, she thought? So very, very hard, so god- damned difficult?
2. He took a cigarette from the crumpled packet, rolled it between his fingers like a talisman, struck a match, watching the flare of sudden flame, and lighted the end, hearing the crackle of tobacco catching fire, drawing the welcome smoke deep into his lungs, and watching his blue-grey exhalation drift up into the summer sky. He sat down in the grass and waited.
The following are from Tom Chivers’ article. He says they are the worst in Dan Brown’s books. Regardless of quality, however, here size matters.
3. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 6, Dan Brown: His last correspondence from Vittoria had been in December - a postcard saying she was headed to the Java Sea to continue her research in entanglement physics... something about using satellites to track manta ray migrations.
4. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 33: Pulling back the sleeve of his jacket, he checked his watch - a vintage, collector's-edition Mickey Mouse wristwatch that had been a gift from his parents on his tenth birthday.
5. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 32: The vehicle was easily the smallest car Langdon had ever seen. "SmartCar," she said. "A hundred kilometers to the liter."
6. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: Captain Bezu Fache carried himself like an angry ox, with his wide shoulders thrown back and his chin tucked hard into his chest. His dark hair was slicked back with oil, accentuating an arrow-like widow's peak that divided his jutting brow and preceded him like the prow of a battleship. As he advanced, his dark eyes seemed to scorch the earth before him, radiating a fiery clarity that forecast his reputation for unblinking severity in all matters.
7. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: As a boy, Langdon had fallen down an abandoned well shaft and almost died treading water in the narrow space for hours before being rescued. Since then, he'd suffered a haunting phobia of enclosed spaces - elevators, subways, squash courts.
8. Angels and Demons, chapter 1: Although not overly handsome in a classical sense, the forty-year-old Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an ‘erudite’ appeal — wisp of gray in his thick brown hair, probing blue eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athlete.

VALERIE LAWS has a Wellcome Trust Arts Award, with several poetry/sci-art commissions including Quantum Sheep and a quantum haiku featured in BBC2’s Why Poetry Matters. She has three current Residencies, one at a London pathology museum and one in Egypt, and has published eight books including two full collections from Peterloo Poets, drama and her most recent, The Rotting Spot (Red Squirrel Press), a crime novel. www.valerielaws.co.uk

These workshops have been devised especially for the Mslexia Women's Short Story Competition, judged by Helen Simpson. For the latest on the writing world, publishing and creativity subscribe to Mslexia now. To sample more Mslexia features or to find out about the latest issue click here.